Monday, June 4, 2012

Day 4: Do One Thing Everyday that Scares You

A Secret to Happiness is to be Thankful

Comedian Louis CK gave an infamous monologue on Conan O'Brien in 2009 to his testament that "Everything is amazing and nobody's happy."  Watch it, it's hilarious and true.  To Louis CK's point, we get frustrated when our cell phones stall...b/c they're connecting to a satellite in space.  Or we complain when the flight attendant brings the wrong drink...EVENTHOUGHT we're sitting in a tube flying through the air.  Those things are amazing - we should be elated!



Today, I've been in a real funk.   I've had my heart broken and it's requiring patience to address it.  Patience in uncertainty, that's not normally as difficult for me to tolerate unless it's with matters of the heart.  I lost patience today and fell into a funk instead.

Surfing Facebook, I ran across Louis CK's stint.  I stopped my moping to listen and allowed myself to be reminded that so much is awesome.   Sure my heart's broken, but consider what is ALSO absolutely wonderful.

For instance, today:
A.  I had the health, finances and fellowship to run the Lincoln Park Zoo race today with some friends - the polar bear was even out on a rare appearance.
B.  My mom called; she was very sick last this time last year and is now healthy and joyful.
C.  I woke up with choices and more freedoms than I can manage well; at least 2 billion people in the world do not have those in one or many forms.

So I choose to be thankful and balance the good with the bad.  At a root level, that is living.

Scary thing I did today:  Stepped out of the funk to count my blessings.  No longer in a funk.
Another awesome thing:  Received my favorite popsicle after the race.  Yum.



What's yours?

PS:  Thanks Jesse Kimmel for the re-post.  You're a music prodigy, it was a joy to babysit you during my college days (uhm, I sang while you played 4 different instruments and quoted Monty Python...you were the best).  Check out Jesse's music.

Sunday, June 3, 2012

Day 3: Do One Thing Everyday that Scares You

Kayaking


Have you ever NOT done something because no one else could join you?   


I love new experiences.  And I love sharing new experiences with others.  Today, I wanted to go kayaking in Lake Michigan.  I've kayaked a fair amount before, but not in Lake Michigan.  Plus, it was a gorgeous day and I just wanted a buddy to do this fun thing with.  No one was available to join me.  


As an only child, adventuring alone isn't a big deal and I often enjoy it.  A good solo hike will clear my head or laying low on a weekend night rejuvenates me the next day.  But I'd had a tough morning and wanted good company for the afternoon.   I decided to go anyway. It was an empowering choice, but also a little scary.  There was no physical fear.  The fear of being alone with my thoughts on something so pensive as the water was what I wanted to avoid.   You know that fear. 


My friend Elaine ended up being available.  We had a fantastic time cruising North Ave and Fullerton beaches in the tandum (my first time not kayaking in a single).  Kayaking in Lake Michigan is not scary.  The key was, I was willing to do it alone when feared my thoughts.  Small thing, but meaningful.


Scary thing I did today:  Decided to go kayaking alone.
Awesome thing I did:  Went kayaking....with a great friend strong enough for the job.  Thanks, Elaine!  We rocked the tandum.


What's yours?  



If you want to kayak, too, check out http://www.kayakchicago.com/locations/north-avenue-beach/

Friday, June 1, 2012

Day 2: Do One Thing Everyday that Scares You

The Drill:  (This really isn't about teeth)

Today, I went under the drill.  A routine dentist check-up turned into a two-hour excavation.  What appeared to be small fractures revealed a deep 'mess' underneath.  I made the decision to go through with the fillings on the spot instead of putting off the pain and expense like I wanted to at the moment.  My new dentist (also former dentist to Tommy Lee from Motley Crew during his Heather Locklear days) used the special "bumpy drill," a slower, more exaggerated drill that cleans out the worst cavities. Excellent.

With plenty of time to think under the drill, I noticed how my dental demeanor can look a lot like my life demeanor under stress:

A.  I usually feel a lot less pain than I fear I will.
B.  In an effort to control or ward off pain, I hold my breath until the discomfort is over.  It only creates needless, PacMan-paced worry.
C.  After the drilling and healing, I'm grateful the mess is clean, realize it really wasn't that bad, and feel healthier.  What was I so afraid of?  Atta girl.

Recently, I was over-extended with great people and passions I love.  The stress to stay on the tracks escalated my fears of failing, and that fear drove me to over-exert control on some situations and even people I care about.  I had no idea; in my mind, I was just being solution-seeking, practical and efficient...you know, Type A.  But it had some negative effects, and several loved ones let me know in a real "bumpy drill" sort of way.  Right or wrong, my fear of is a root I've need to dig out.  Like a cavity, it's ugly, destructive and expensive.  It was hiding under a seemingly healthy surface.  I realized this week I needed to deal with what I could control (my fear) on the spot.  There's no use letting good things spoil.

And so, for Day 2....

Scary thing I did today:  Accepted invasive dental work on the spot.  Survived.
Really scary thing I did today:  Said "I'm sorry" to a friend affected by a fear-based control act.  Experienced A and C because I didn't do B.
Awesome thing today:  Post-dentist smoothie and yoga.  Delighted.

You know the drill.  What's yours?

(Confession: I've been catching up on few awesome episodes of Glee and think it's affected my writing style today.  My apologies if this post seems a bit high-school campey...I'm off to croon a Broadway ballad in my mirror.... )

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Do Something Everyday that Scares You


Hi there.  My name is Amanda.  I'm a Type A personality; to many, I appear to be fearless and have my act together.  I love living, seek adventure and am building a business on navigating life's uncertainties to pursue one's dreams.  The truth is, I'm afraid a lot.  More than I care to admit.  And as a perfectionist, fear often stalls me from meeting my own high expectations.  Or enjoying full relationships w/ others who also don't meet them (yes, that was scary to write).   After a series of recent setbacks, I realize I need to do something about it.   

I'm learning that when we come upon a scary situation, we need to lean in to it, rather than away from it.  That is, unless that situation is a rattlesnake.... How do we lean in when it's so natural to ignore it or run?

I think the key is to keep moving through the fear.  Lately, however, I've been feeling stuck.  So I spoke with a wise and fabulous friend, Lisa, who challenged me yesterday to think beyond my fears in a very specific way (she was fighting her fears at the moment by taking trapeze lessons; now that's an idea...)

"Do something everyday that scares you."  - Eleanor Roosevelt and the Lululemon bag





Simple, right?   We decided we are both tired of being governed by fears that prevent us from living fully, and so we committed to take the quote's challenge on the spot.   For the month of June, we are doing at least one thing that scares us every day. Then we will share it with the other for moral support, accountability, and hopefully a few laughs.  How's that for kicking the habit of stagnating fear?!    

She upped the ante one step further and invited me to start a blog about it.  Hmm...I wasn't sure if I could match her bet (scared of failing, ho hum....).  So I talked w/ other friends about the idea.  They instantly wanted in on the challenge.  Ok, I can do a blog if it brings others along on this journey!   If you want to join Lisa and I in our challenge, here's what we do:

1.  Do one thing every day that we fear. Identify it and really do it.
2.  Take 2-3 minutes to write it down
3.  Share it w/ each other (Google doc or blog it for record...boomski!)
4.  No response required; this is a do-something-without-expectation-of-response kind of thing.  
GOAL:  Kick the stagnating "fear" habit in 30 days and LIVE more fully as we are designed.

I started today....

Scary thing I did today:  Committed to doing a personal blog :)
Bonus round:  Accepted a meeting to have a hard conversation I've been putting off.
Awesome thing:  Groupon Now massage...that wasn't scary.

What's yours?